How to Overcome Your Negative Outlook & Be More Positive

Do you feel like you have lost your smile? Are you looking for ways to be more positive in your life, with your kids or in your relationship? I want to share with you some actionable tips for overcoming the overwhelm and beating those negative thoughts.

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I bet you are tired of feeling out of place, and you’re exhausted from forcing a fake smile (that you want so badly to feel genuine). You have been hoping and waiting for something good to happen that will magically fix everything and bring that spark of happiness back. Now, the realization has kicked in that these negative thoughts and feelings aren’t going to just go away by themselves. You have to take action and challenge yourself to be more positive (especially in the more difficult areas of your life). So give yourself a pat on the back for taking the first step and looking for a solution!

“It is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” – Epictetus

This is one of my favorite quotes. There are many things in this world that we can’t control. The ONE thing we can control…our actions. The great thing is, we get to choose what we focus on and how we react to these things. I say, choose to have a perspective that reflects optimism and motivates you to be better. Choose to be happy!

I know, it’s easier said than done. That is why I’m going to give you actionable tips that will start to shift your thoughts to a more positive way of thinking. Once you train your mind to see more of the good stuff, it will be easier to let go of the things you can’t control.

If you feel like you have lost your smile, if life has gotten you down, and if you're looking for happiness, this post about how to be more positive is for you. Learn how to conquer those negative thoughts and gain a new perspective.


To be more positive, we need to get rid of our old ways of thinking and create new habits that encourage optimism and self-love. Below you will find four bad habits you need to stop doing and what to do instead.


STOP spending time with negative people.

You know the ones. Somehow everything that seems to go wrong is happening to them. When you talk about the exciting and fun things going on in your life, they downplay the greatness of it. You need people who inspire you to be better. Steer clear of Negative Nancy!

Instead, start learning from those who have overcome similar obstacles and are happy. Have you ever heard the saying, ” You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with?” Well, seek out the people you aspire to be like. You can start by reading personal development books and memoirs of those you can relate to. Find a podcast you can listen to on the drive to work or while you’re cooking dinner.

The greatest thing I ever did (in the way of personal development) was to read The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. This one book made such an impact on my life that I quit my job (that I was completely miserable at) and started an online business. The inspiration I received, just from the stories in this book, was unbelievable. I won’t spend any more time on it here, but if you want to read more about my story and get my full review of the book, you can check it out here.


STOP beating yourself up and talking bad about yourself.

Raise your hand if every time you walk past a mirror you have to look in it. Keep your hand up if when you see yourself you mumble something like, “Ugh, I look horrible,” “I’m so fat,” or “Is that another wrinkle?” This is not a healthy self-image, but I promise you are not alone. Okay, you can put your hand down now.

Here’s what you do instead. Practice self-care. What is that, you say? Self-care is consciously spending time doing things for yourself that make you healthier and happier. This can be something simple, such as making the decision to eat more nutritious foods or spending time reading a book or watching your favorite movie. The idea is to focus on your wants and needs so that you’re refueled emotionally and physically.

If this is something you struggle with, I have written a post just for you. Find out how to incorporate a little me time into your busy schedule starting today.


STOP holding on to negative thoughts and feelings.

The easy thing to do when something doesn’t go your way is to hold onto those negative thoughts and feelings. But, this is a bad habit that we need to let go. Sulking reinforces a pessimistic attitude. Think about it. When you’re in a bad mood, it’s because you have let the negative things that have happened take over your thoughts. The good news is, you get to control what you think about. It just takes a little more effort to make the shift.

Instead, choose an action you can do easily that will shock (distract) your mind from the current situation. For instance, when I find myself in my head running through the “less-than-perfect” things that have happened, I will often grab my iPod Nano (Like this one. I love how small it is. I can put it in my pocket and not worry about it bulging out.) and earbuds and blast some energetic music.

Upbeat music has been shown to improve moods in numerous studies. According to this article from that reviews multiple studies regarding the affects music has on your mood, those who listen to upbeat music regularly can experience a boost in happiness in as little as two weeks.

However, this distraction doesn’t have to be music. Depending on where you are, you could easily go for a walk or run, do a few jumping jacks, scream “Yes!” at the top of your lungs; you get the picture. Tony Robbins, one of the most well-known life coaches and motivational speakers, uses the “Yes!” method in his seminars to get you out of your current slumber and into a pumped up mood. Listening to his podcasts has been a huge inspiration in my personal development journey.

STOP wasting your quiet time.

Do you ever find yourself just sitting around with nothing to do or just not really wanting to do anything? Sometimes having a little down time can be good for our minds, but doing nothing can become a habit. Before we know it, we are sitting in our negative thoughts again.

Instead of doing nothing or wasting hours in front of the t.v., start using your time to journal and get those feelings out. Journaling has been therapeutic for me. By using a daily journal to document my thoughts and express gratitude, I have been able to see a major shift in mindset. I could see a change in the first week. I became more mindful of the good things happening in my life, and I began to look for the positive in each situation. Over time, the not-so-good things became less important and had less affect on my mood.

Basically, if you want to see a real shift in your mindset and be more positive, you have to be intentional in the things you do. If there is one thing I could encourage you to start doing today, it would be to start a personal journal. This has made the biggest impact on my happiness and allowed me to reflect on the things most important in my life.

If you feel like you have lost your smile, if life has gotten you down, and if you're looking for happiness, this post about how to be more positive is for you.


I know it’s hard, as a mom, to take that first step and find the time and resources to get started. I would love to share with you my FREE printable journal template.

If you’re a working mom struggling with overwhelm, the Daily Reflections Journal will help you dump your negative outlook and create a more positive way of thinking so you can start enjoying those moments with your family again.

STOP the negative thoughts and start being more positive!

Fill out the form below to get your FREE Daily Reflections Journal today!


  1. Lisa @ Https:// March 2018 at 5:59 pm

    I love this! “Stop spending time with negative people” is the best advice I’ve ever received. Makes a world of difference in your whole life when you rid yourself of those downers

    1. Jillian March 2018 at 1:10 am

      Thank you, Lisa! You’re right. Often times, we don’t realize the affect that the people we surround ourselves with actually have on us.

  2. Elise Ho March 2018 at 5:14 pm

    These are all great tips but I too love the releasing of negative people. I have found this to be a very powerful thing to do.

    1. Jillian March 2018 at 4:51 pm

      You are so right, Elise. Sometimes negative people put pressure on us to feel a certain way. And we don’t realize it’s there until we take a step back. For me, it’s powerful because it gives such a since of relief.

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