Motherhood Personal Growth

Does Mom Guilt Make You Neglect Self-Care?

Did you know self-care is essential to your health?

That’s right! Getting in a little “me time” regularly can benefit your overall well-being and quality of life. It can create more energy, build your self-esteem, improve your relationships and help you be more present intellectually. Good health, mental and physical, can also lead to a longer and more fulfilled life.

These are all important reasons to take care of yourself. Don’t we all want more energy, a higher self-esteem and relationships that add value and loads of happiness to our lives? So why are there so many women (mothers in particular) that neglect self-care?

It’s called Mom Guilt.

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Are you a working mom dealing with Mom Guilt? Do you find it hard to leave your kids to do something for yourself for fear of feeling like a bad mom? Discover 4 facts that will change your mind.

Here are just a few of the things that make us feel guilty as moms

…and often cause us to give up on satisfying our own wants and needs.

1. Spending Money on Ourselves Instead of Our Kids

It costs money to do the things we enjoy, right? Having our hair colored, nails manicured, or going out for dinner with a friend. As moms, we are hard-wired to take care of those little ones first and foremost. So, when the opportunity arises for us to spend a little money on ourselves, we usually talk ourselves out of it for fear of taking away something that could benefit them or contribute to their happiness in some way.

2. Not Spending Enough Time With Our Kids

If you’re a working mom, like me, you probably feel like you don’t get enough time in with your kids – quality time, that is. They have school or daycare; you have work and lots of household responsibilities. In between that is usually plenty of “clean your room,” “brush your teeth,” and “have you showered yet?” For this reason, it can seem like we’re neglecting our children by spending our free time away from them.

3. Neglecting Housework

We’ve all heard the saying, “there are only so many hours in a day.” This is for good reason – it’s true. What’s also true is a mom’s work is never done. FACT. It does not take long for my house to go from spotless to looking like a tornado hit it when my 3-year-old gets home. It’s also not uncommon for me to walk into my just cleaned living room and say, “I mean, really?” You’d be amazed what he can do in three minutes. Back to the point, our house is usually never completely tidy, and leaving an unorganized house can make you feel lousy.

4. Having Fun When Our Kids are Sitting at Home

Children are full of life. They’re energetic and adventurous and lively, always looking for new activities and things to do. From my experience, kids also get bored fairly easy. How could we possibly go out and enjoy ourselves while they just sit at home? It somehow seems like we’re depriving them of joy they could be experiencing.

 

These are all legitimate reasons to feel guilty. We love our kids with everything we have in us. I get it. But at what point do we say “I’ve got to take care of me?” Do we wait until we’re completely worn out, depressed, and overwhelmed from the non-stop running? Do we wait until we feel there is nothing left in us to give?

I’m here to tell you, if you don’t take care of you until you’ve given everything in you, it’s hard to bounce back from that. I have been there, and it’s hard to pull yourself out of that rut. Before you get that far, I want to share some insights that might change your mind about mom guilt.

 

Are you a working mom dealing with Mom Guilt? Do you find it hard to leave your kids to do something for yourself for fear of feeling like a bad mom? Discover 4 facts that will change your mind.

 

4 Facts That Will Change Your Mind About Mom Guilt

1. Excessively spending on kids could have a negative impact on their money mindset.

This article, 5 Signs You’re Spending Too Much Money on Your Kids, from CheatSheet.com points out that by overspending on kids we could be teaching them bad money habits. In turn, they might grow to be entitled adults who expect things to be handed to them. So, if you’re feeling guilty for spending money on yourself, first think about how much your children actually have.

2. The quality of time spent with kids is more important than the amount of time spent with them.

Today’s Parents posted an article reviewing a study addressing whether or not the amount of time a child spends with their mother directly affects their development. This study evaluated the children’s academic success, behavioral health and emotional health. The study proved that the amount of time mothers spend with their children doesn’t affect their development. Actually, children’s successes are more directly related to the mother’s educational background and financial well-being.

3. The need to have  a tidy house 24/7 could have a deeper meaning.

If you obsess over having a clean house or can’t manage to step out the door until the last piece of laundry is put away, you might be trying to fill a void. Casey has an interesting take on what obsessive tidying is hiding about your self-worth. Do you feel accomplished, satisfied, or in control when you finish your cleaning routine? It might be time to find a new way to fulfill those desires, so you can lower your standards on what’s considered a “clean” house and spend more time taking care of you.

4. You need to set a positive example for your kids.

We all know kids are very impressionable. They learn from what we say, what we do and how we do it. If you’re frustrated, overwhelmed or depressed, they are going to pick up on this. They will mimic your behavior, good or bad. As parents, we want our children to see us as happy and fulfilled, right? This means we are allowed to do things for ourselves and actually enjoy it.

 

The point I’m trying to make here is it’s okay to want things and to actually get them or do the things that make us happy. Don’t let your health and happiness drift away because you succumbed to the “mom guilt.” If you’re struggling with mom guilt or to find ways to incorporate self-care into your routine, I’ve created a great list of ways to incorporate a little me time into your busy schedule. And, if this wasn’t convincing enough, please read these 3 Big Reasons You Need to Make YOU a Priority.

I hope you will decide today to take better care of you. You deserve it, Mama!

In a society that says, “Put yourself last,” self-love and self-acceptance are almost revolutionary. – Brene´ Brown 

Until then,

Jillian

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