Personal Growth

How to Get Over Your Fear of Asking for What You Really Want

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The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen - The book to help you realize and overcome the fears holding you back from getting what you want out of life.

The Aladdin Factor

Do you allow fear and self doubt to hold you back from the things you really want in life?

This book has helped me break through my fears and go for the gold (so to speak).

In The Aladdin Factor, bestselling authors of Chicken Soup for the Soul and The Success Principles Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, explain how to ask for and get what you want by addressing the following issues: what’s holding you back from asking for what you want, what can you gain from asking, how to narrow down exactly what you want, and how to ask for it.

What is it that you’re neglecting to ask for? Is it a promotion, a raise, respect from your peers, more affection from your spouse? Is there something you want right now that you just haven’t asked for? What’s stopping you? Rejection? Let me tell you a little of what you can expect to take away from The Aladdin Factor.

 

The Aladdin Factor – A Personal Overview

 

What’s holding you back from asking for what you want?

Early on in the book, Canfield and Hansen address the fact that we’re “conditioned” by our childhood. With beliefs like “My success will deprive someone else” and “Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it,” we are scared into a fear of asking.

So what is so scary? Rejection, embarrassment, loss of respect?

As Canfield and Hansen addressed each limiting belief, I found myself thinking of one that I’ve heard throughout my life and one I’m guilty of using with my own family. “Be satisfied with what you have. You could have far less.” Now I wonder, have I put a roof on my own success by thinking it’s okay to be content with where I’m at and with what I have? Am I conditioning my children to not reach for something more or to want more than what they have?

Once we realize that we don’t have anything to lose, except for fear, what can we gain?

 

What can you gain from asking?

“You miss 100% of the shots you never take.” – Wayne Gretzky

In other words, you have everything to gain by asking, but you have got to ask. In Chapter II: The Benefits of Asking, Canfield and Hansen address the different areas of your life you could ultimately improve. By asking for what you want, you make yourself accountable and take charge of your life and build your self-worth. This leads to improved personal and business relationships, a happier and improved lifestyle and personal growth. Who doesn’t want that?

So, after you understand what happens when you ask for what you want, what’s next?

 

How to narrow down exactly what you want.

You would think at this point you could just start asking and reaping the benefits, but there is a valuable lesson to be learned prior.

“You can’t ask for what you want unless you know what it is. A lot of people don’t know what they want or they want much less than they deserve. First you have to figure out what you want. Second, you have to decide that you deserve it. Third, you have to believe you can get it. And, fourth, you have to have the guts to ask for it.” -Barbara De Angelis (The Aladdin Factor)

Well, I think that about sums this section up. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Bonus: There are exercises associated with each of these steps to help clarify what it is that you want by pushing you to think outside of your limiting beliefs. I found them all very insightful, and I was amazed at what began to surface once I finished the first task of Make a List of 101 Wishes. You’d be surprised what you’ve been suppressing once you make yourself really dig deep. 🙂

Okay, now that we know what it is we want, how do we ask for it?

 

How to ask for what you want.

As explained by Canfield and Hansen, there is more to asking than just saying what you want. They break down each of the following aspects you need to conquer in order to ask effectively.

  1. Ask as if you expect to get it
  2. Ask someone who can give it to you
  3. Be clear and specific
  4. Ask from your heart
  5. Ask with humor and creativity
  6. Give in order to get
  7. Ask repeatedly
  8. How to deal with resistence

From here, they take you through how to use these aspects in different areas of your life. Whether it’s at home, at school, at work, of the world or of yourself, there is no doubt asking plays a huge part in your happiness and success throughout life. This book has helped me to realize how many times I have shied away from asking for what I truly wanted or asked for less because I didn’t think I could have it all.

If we allow ourselves to believe we deserve more and take actionable steps toward our goals, we can have and do anything we put our minds to.

 

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How to Get Over Your Fear of Asking for What You Want

 

Check out more reviews over at Amazon!

Do you have a favorite self-help book? Tell me which one and why in the comments!

 

 

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